Marital Monday: Love and Respect

I once read somewhere that wives want to feel loved while husbands want to feel respected. I must admit I often focus on the first part of that statement. I WANT TO FEEL LOVED. So, when I don’t get the amount of cuddles or tender forehead kisses I want what do I do? I get upset at my husband and question his love. How many of you do the same?  It is crazy that I do this because I know he loves me and is without a doubt in love with me.

What dawned on me was that while questioning the love I know he has I am not giving him the respect he needs. In turn, he begins to feel insulted.  I realized there are much better ways to express my needs. If I want to be cuddled more then I should sit closer to him on the couch and rest my head on him.  When I do this his natural reaction has always been to put his arm around me and kiss my forehead. Which is exactly what I wanted. See how easy that is! I did not accuse him of not loving me causing him to feel insulted. We are cuddled on the couch me feeling loved and him feeling respected.

Let me share this recent conversation with you:

(Background info:  My husband proposed to me at the waterfront in Jersey City over looking the Hudson with a perfect view of NYC on the other side).

(Scene:  In our home this past Saturday which was our wedding anniversary)

Me:  Honey do you feel like taking a drive?

Him: Where?

Me: To Jersey City

Him: What’s in Jersey City?

I gave him a look and immediately he apologized and said as soon as he asked that question, it hit him.  I  chucked and simply said that I wish it hit him before he asked “What’s in Jersey City?”

But that is where I left it.  I could have went in on him accusing him of not caring which would have led to him feeling insulted and disrespected.  That would not have been a fun way to start off our anniversary.

We went to Jersey City and sat on the benches where he proposed overlooking the Hudson and staring at the gorgeous structures of NYC on the other side. It was such a beautiful day! The weather totally reminiscent of the day we married which added to the delight.

Ladies, let’s try and change the way we address things. If you know and feel that your husband loves you don’t accuse him of not loving you. Approach the situation in a way that will leave you feeling loved and him feeling respected.

And husbands, express your love for your wife to your wife. We know it but we enjoy feeling it!




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