A few weeks ago I told my husband that I was depressed. The children were sleep and I just broke down in the living room. He looked at me with a quizzical look and again I said “I’m depressed”. I had entered into a funk that I had never experienced before. I was tired constantly, gaining weight, unmotivated, and short tempered. And you know what? My husband hadn’t noticed. That must have meant that I was not the happy, nurturing, easy going, energetic person that I thought I was. If I was that person then my husband would have seen the changes in me. His reaction made me do some self reflection.
If you were in a funk would those closest to you notice? At some point I traded my smile for a scowl. Sweats replaced nice outfits. And moodiness moved in and kicked my nurturing spirit out. I felt broken. A major part of the problem was not taking time for what is most important to me. Which is my relationship with God. I was no longer spending time on devotions and nurturing my relationship with Christ. My faith has ALWAYS been something that was very important to me. My husband and I would pray together every morning and I was in church every Sunday, but that is where it ended. I no longer spent one on one time with God. I would get wrapped up in all of my responsibilities of the day and lost sight of the relationship in my life that mattered most.
For those of you who have a relationship with Christ you know what I mean. For those of you who don’t have a relationship with Christ you should try Him for yourself. You won’t be disappointed. As I said earlier, I felt broken. I am feeling much better now and I am putting the pieces back together. However, I don’t want to put the pieces back the same way they were before. I want to put them back differently and make a new picture. One more beautiful and unique than before.
I have been blessed beyond measure, and I was confused why I felt this way. My husband and children are amazing and my extended family is awesome. We all have a purpose in life and we need to take the time to investigate what it is. Recognizing your blessings is a major step in feeling good about who you are. Know that you are amazing and your achievements are limitless. Laugh often, cry sometimes, and be inspired always.
Next time (if there is a next time) where I find myself in a funk, my husband will notice.