I enjoy observing older couples or couples married for years. I have been married for 5 years so I feel there is always something to learn about marriage. The following two situations are ones that I have recently observed and took mental notes on.
A few years ago my cousin got married in Florida. My husband and I flew down to attend and my mother flew down as well. It is very rare for my parents not to travel together. Usually when you see one, you see the other. They have been married for 42 years now and that is just the way it has always been.
My mother stayed with us for the two nights. At one point while we were sitting watching TV on the first night she got up and said she was going to get an orange. She got her orange, peeled it and then offered half to my husband and I. Both of us declined and she just stood there for a minute then she sighed and said,
“I miss your father, he always eats the other half of the orange.”
I was very moved by this so I took a mental note. I noted her sincerity, her love, and her appreciation for her husband in his absence. You could really see that she missed him. That is the kind of love I am looking to have as my marriage grows. I thought it was sweet.
I look forward to sharing fruit with my husband, I just have to figure out which one because he is not a fan of oranges.
The other week while I was waiting for my car to get an oil change there was another woman waiting also. She was an older woman just sitting doing a crossword puzzle. Then her phone rang and this is the gist of the conversation I heard.
“Hey Baby…..just waiting for the car to get done…..I am going to make some matzo balls and chicken for you and leave it on the counter…..I love too….bye honey.”
After she hung up I told her that sounded good (I have a thing for matzo balls, in case you didn’t pick up on that in Check Please). She smiled and told me that she didn’t like it but her husband loves when she makes that dish. I don’t know if I felt inspired or encouraged, but it was something. You can tell they have been married for a while so I decided to take a mental note. I noted her confidence, her usage of endearing terms and her voice level while speaking to her husband. It was obvious that the spark is still there between them just by overhearing her verbal communication.
So next time you see a more seasoned couple take mental notes keeping in mind that no marriage is perfect and what works for one couple may not work for another. Just use what you observe as a guide. Years from now you never now what young couple might be observing your marriage and taking mental notes.